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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28949703">You're Somebody Else</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Meg_Solo_Writes/pseuds/Meg_Solo_Writes'>Meg_Solo_Writes</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Abandonment, Canon Divergence, Canon-Typical Violence, Death, F/M, Force Choking (Star Wars), Heartbreak, Implied/Referenced Torture, Imprisonment, Kylo Ren is Not Nice, Manipulation, Mentions of Death, Mind probing, Needles, Restraints, Smuggling, mentions of past enslavement, stormtroopers are not nice</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-01-24</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-04-13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-13 05:07:13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>17,199</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28949703</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Meg_Solo_Writes/pseuds/Meg_Solo_Writes</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Seven years after surviving the destruction of Luke Skywalker’s Jedi Temple, you fall into the hands of the First Order after a smuggling run goes bad. Now that you are forced to confront your past as you come face to face with Supreme Leader Kylo Ren, or as you once knew him, Ben Solo, the two of you discover quickly that neither of you are who you once were.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Ben Solo/Reader, Ben Solo/You, Kylo Ren/Reader, Kylo Ren/You</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>33</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>62</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter One</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Chapter Summary: The First Order has you in their crosshairs in the midst of a smuggling run. When you have to make a difficult decision in order to save your crew, you put your own life at risk, allowing yourself to be taken into custody while your crew escapes. </p><p>Chapter Warnings: Mentions of Past Enslavement, Mentions of Death. </p><p>This is set after the events of The Last Jedi and will not follow TROS. This is my first fic within the Star Wars Universe, Please, do not come after me for any inaccuracies, as I will be making some stuff up.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <strong> <em>“Are you sure we’re not going to get in trouble?” You asked, not wanting to hear another lecture from Master Skywalker.  </em> </strong>
</p><p>
  <strong> <em>“I’m sure.” Ben insisted, pushing you up the ladder towards the cockpit of the X-wing. “They won’t even know we were gone.” He added. </em> </strong>
</p><p>
  <strong> <em>You rolled your eyes. Of course, he didn’t ask permission, he never did for anything, always doing whatever he wanted, despite the consequences. </em> </strong>
</p><p>
  <strong> <em>Learning to fly a starfighter was always a dream of yours, but Master Skywalker refused to teach you, always saying you weren’t ready. When you told Ben of Luke’s doubts, he said he would teach you instead, not caring what his uncle had to say about you. </em> </strong>
</p><p>
  <strong><em>With Ben being the son of the most famous smuggler in the galaxy, and the nephew of the Jedi who blew up the Death Star, he was willing to teach you everything he knew. You really couldn’t have asked for a better teacher.</em> </strong>
</p><p>
  <strong> <em>There was only one problem. When you climbed up to the cockpit of the starfighter, you noticed there was only a pilot’s seat, with no room for a passenger. </em> </strong>
</p><p>
  <strong> <em>“Um… Ben. I think we’re getting in the wrong ship, there’s only one seat. Where am I supposed to sit?” You pointed at the single pilot’s seat in the X-Wing. </em> </strong>
</p><p>
  <strong> <em>Ben let out a deep chuckled, climbing up around you and settling into the pilot’s seat. He patted his lap while looking up at you expectantly with those intense honey brown eyes that you always seemed to get lost in. </em> </strong>
</p><p>
  <strong><em>“You’re going to sit right here. Now c’mon, we don’t have all night.” He said as if this was completely normal. </em> </strong>
</p><p>
  <strong> <em>Your cheeks burned at the thought of sitting on Ben’s lap, but he was right, you didn’t have all night, and you desperately wanted to start your flying lessons. </em> </strong>
</p><p>
  <strong> <em>Climbing into the cockpit, you slowly lowered yourself onto Ben’s lap, your body tense, feeling the heat radiating off him beneath you. Ben’s hands quickly grabbed your waist, pulling you back so you rested against his chest. With you now situated exactly how he wanted you, he reached around you, lowering the hatch and firing up the starfighters engines. </em> </strong>
</p><p>
  <strong> <em>After going over all of the controls and launch sequence with you, he placed your hands on the piloting controls before his own wrapped around them, his massive hands enveloping yours completely. </em> </strong>
</p><p>
  <strong> <em>“You ready, Ace?” He asked. </em> </strong>
</p><p>
  <strong> <em>Turning your head slightly to look up at Ben, you were confused by the new nickname. “Ace? Why are you calling me that?” </em> </strong>
</p><p>
  <strong> <em>“Because when I’m finished teaching you, you’re going to be an ace pilot, able to outmaneuver and outrun anything in the galaxy.” He said with certainty. </em> </strong>
</p><p>
  <strong> <em>A wide grin spread across your face at the nickname and his confidence in your abilities, despite never seeing you fly. </em> </strong>
</p><p>
  <strong> <em>“You really think I could be that good of a pilot?” You asked hesitantly. </em> </strong>
</p><p>
  <strong> <em>“Are you doubting my ability to teach you?” His eyebrow raised in question. </em> </strong>
</p><p>
  <strong><em>“Of course not!” You responded, shaking your head, hoping he wasn’t really offended by your question.  </em> </strong>
</p><p>
  <strong> <em>“I didn’t think so,” he said with a smirk. “I have no doubt that you’ll be a better pilot than myself.” He admitted, turning his attention ahead to begin the launch. </em> </strong>
</p><p>
  <strong> <em>Pulling up on the controls, you felt the starfighter lift off the ground, as the engines roared to life, soaring up through the atmosphere and into open space. The feeling of being in a small ship, moving at such a high speed, was like nothing you’d ever felt before. Shaking from the adrenaline that now coursed through your veins, you were more than excited for your first lesson.</em> </strong>
</p><p>
  <strong> <em>“Let’s begin, Ace.” </em> </strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>  </strong>
</p><p>
  <strong> <em>**********</em></strong>
</p><p> </p><p>“Ace! We gotta move faster, they’re gaining on us!” Terris yelled from behind you, breaking you out of your trance. He was running the gunner position, trying to keep the TIE fighters from getting too close.</p><p>“I’m working on it!” You hollered back over your shoulder.</p><p>Terris was a human, not much older than yourself. He grew up as a spice runner with his brother, smuggling illegal spice and other goods across the galaxy. You met him in Canto Bight the night his brother was killed by a local Spice Lord. Terris and his brother had just returned from a failed run where they ended up dumping their cargo before they were caught by New Republic officers. You were working in the docking bay when you saw it happen, and you could not stand by and watch as they murdered Terris as well.</p><p>After helping Terris escape on his brother’s ship, the two of you fled to the outer rim. In return for saving his life, Terris offered the ship to you along with his skills and knowledge of the smuggling world. Not being able to return to Canto Bight, you decided to take him up on his offer, seeing as you were both alone in the galaxy. That was how your little smuggling crew got its start. The two of you began making small runs for different crime lords across the galaxy, trying to stay off any official radars.</p><p>Trying to transfer all power to the main thrusters, you were maneuvering out of the way of several TIE fighter assaults, waiting for your mechanic to update you on the status of your busted hyperdrive.</p><p>The life of a smuggler was a dangerous one. Since Supreme Leader Kylo Ren seized control after killing Snoke, everything changed throughout the entire galaxy. More and more systems were being taken under First Order control, and any activity that did not benefit the Order was declared an act of treason. Unfortunately for you and your crew, smuggling could be punishable by death depending on the cargo.</p><p>Given that you were hauling stolen First Order medical supplies and weapons, you could be sure that the First Order would not show any leniency on you and your crew if caught. What made things even worse for you, is that unbeknownst to your crew, you were hired by the resistance to make this run. You knew they wouldn’t have agreed to it, and as much as you tried to avoid getting involved in the never-ending war between the First Order and the Resistance, you needed the credits, and the Resistance was willing to pay generously.</p><p>Somehow, the First Order spotted you and was able to identify the false transponder code you were using to sneak by without drawing attention to yourselves. The codes you possess are supposed to be foolproof, and allow you to travel without being stopped by the First Order.  After they requested to board for an inspection, you did the only thing you could, and began preparing the ship to outrun them. Unsure of how they knew the code was false, your only option was to jump to hyperspace before they decided to take the ship by force.</p><p>Your ship, an HWK-290 light freighter – the Nighthawk as you unofficially named it – usually had no issues outrunning First Order starships. With the light freighter’s modifications, along with your piloting skills, you should be able to outrun almost anything. It appears you may have to come up with a different plan to escape this time, as the hyperdrive on the Nighthawk decided now was a good time to break.</p><p>“Sarai, how’s it looking down there?” You checked in through the commlink.</p><p>Sarai was a Twi’lek, and the Nighthawk’s mechanic. Her skin was a dark shade of blue, and she had her lekku decorated in dark leather wrappings. You helped rescue Sarai from the Hutts on Tatooine a few years back, where she was enslaved and was waiting to be sold off to a new master. When it came time to receive the payment for the run you had completed for the Hutts, Terris begged you to save her instead of taking the credits, and bring her on as part of your crew.</p><p>At the time of her rescue, you were unaware of her mechanical skills, which ended up benefiting you in the long run, saving you credits and several headaches over the past several years. Sarai was also good with a blaster, both short and long range, which was very helpful during some close calls with clients who tried to stiff you on credits.</p><p>“It’s not good, Ace. The ion cable is completely fried, and there’s no way to fix it without a new cable, which we don’t have.” Sarai responded.</p><p>She was climbing back onto the main deck with her datapad, stumbling into the cockpit as she spoke. The blasts from the TIEs were continuing to rock your ship as they were deflected off your shields, which were not going to last much longer.</p><p>Slamming your fist down on the control console, leaving a small dent in the cheap durasteel, you turned to address Sarai, while maintaining your current speed. “You’re right, that’s not good.” Letting out a small laugh, and shaking your head in disbelief, you continued with your own bad news, “There’s no way we can outrun them without jumping to hyperspace, and we’ll be within range of their cannons soon.”</p><p>“Ace, something’s going on.” Terris suddenly called out while pointing out of the viewport. “The TIEs are withdrawing, and heading back to the light cruiser.”</p><p>Looking out of the viewport, you could see that the TIE fighters were backing off as he had said. Setting the flight controls on autopilot, you needed a moment to come up with a new plan. Before getting even a second to think, static came through your comms channel as the First Order ship was attempting to hail your ship.</p><p>
  <strong>“This is General Hux of the First Order. Our cannons have locked onto your position. If you do not surrender, we will fire on your ship.” </strong>
</p><p>“Shit.” You grumbled under your breath.</p><p>“Ace?” Sarai placed a shaking hand on your shoulder, her tone was soft, trying not to sound too frightened. “What would you like us to do?”</p><p>Terris left the gunner controls, as the TIEs were now gone, and stood beside Sarai awaiting your orders.</p><p>Sighing, you looked at your crew defeated, not wanting to admit to them that you were out of options. There was no out running the First Order this time, you were trapped with no choice but to surrender. However, you were not about to let Terris and Sarai be captured along with you. They were the closest thing to a family you’d had in a long time, and you couldn’t let anything happen to them.</p><p>Taking a deep breath, you spoke calmly, “I want the two of you to start loading up the escape pod with the medical supplies, as much as you can fit, and get the supplies to the Resistance on Ajan Kloss.” The shocked look they gave you was expected, but it still pained you.</p><p>“The Resistance? Ace, what the hell are we doing carrying supplies for the Resistance?” Terris was furious, and he had every right to be, his soft blue eyes now appearing colder as he spoke.</p><p>“I’m sorry I didn’t tell the two of you sooner, but we needed the credits, and I owed an old pal a favor.” You hated that you had lied to them about the job, but it was too late now to try and make it right.</p><p>“What about you? We can’t fit all the supplies in the pod. They’ll have you executed within the next cycle when they find out the weapons were stolen from one of their warehouses.” He continued, concerned for you despite feeling hurt and angry from your decision to withhold the truth.  </p><p>“Someone needs to stay back and keep them distracted so you can get away. I refuse to risk the two of you getting killed for my decisions.” They started to protest, but you continued, cutting them off, “There’s not time to argue about this, just please do as I ask.” Pushing them out of the cockpit, you urged them to start loading up the escape pod.</p><p>Quickly turning back and wrapping her arms around you, Sarai pulled you into her embrace. “Ace, you don’t have to do this. We can figure out a different way.” She had started crying.</p><p>“We don’t have choice.” You murmured, holding onto her for a moment longer before pulling away. Sarai was like a sister to you, and separating like this was not something you ever wanted to happen.</p><p>“This is important, Sarai. I need you to get those supplies to the Resistance.” Taking her hand, you made sure you had her full attention. “My contact with the Resistance is Poe Dameron, he used to run spice, you can trust him. Tell him what happened, he’ll be able to help.” Repeating Poe’s name, Sarai nodded, understanding what you needed her to do.</p><p>“I’ll be okay.” You assured her.</p><p>Holding back tears, Sarai squeezed your hand, turning and leaving the cockpit to help Terris finish packing up the pod.</p><p>Returning to the controls, you readied the comms for a transmission to send back to the First Order. You just needed to buy them a few seconds to get away undetected.</p><p>
  <strong>“Please, hold your fire. I am prepared to surrender, and will allow you to board the ship with no resistance. Please acknowledge.” </strong>
</p><p>You slowed the ships speed, letting them believe you were cooperating. While you were waiting for a response, you left the cockpit to ensure Terris and Sarai were ready to go. As you rounded the corner, you could see that the escape pod was full, and Terris was in the pilot’s chair, his messy blond hair was bouncing around as he moved about, preparing the pod or launch.</p><p>Turning when he heard your footsteps, he gave you smile while getting up and walking over to pull you in for a hug. “I’m so pissed at you right now.” He mumbled into your hair as a single tear slipped down his cheek. “We’re going to have a long chat about this when we get you back safe, got it?”</p><p>You laughed and squeezed him tight. “Yea, I got it. I promise once we’re out of this mess, there will be no more lies.” With a smirk, Terris nodded and returned to the escape pod.</p><p>Standing on the main deck, away from the pod, Sarai turned to say her goodbyes. Just as she went to speak, the Nighthawk violently shook, throwing the two of you against the wall.</p><p>
  <strong>“Vessel 993-105 prepare to be docked.”</strong>
</p><p>The message came through from the General and you peered up through the viewports to see that your ship was being pulled towards the light cruiser, being reeled in like a fish caught on a hook, as you had fallen in range of their tractor beam.</p><p>Realizing that your time was up, you started to panic. Pulling Sarai up off the floor, you pushed her towards the escape pod. “You have to go <em>now</em>! Prepare to launch!” You yelled at Terris from across the ship.</p><p>“C’mon Sarai, we gotta go!” Terris called back.</p><p>“Ace, please. Come with us!” Tears were streaming down Sarai’s face as she held onto your arm trying to pull you towards the pod with her. You tried to shake her off of you, but Sarai was not letting go, and you were running out of time for them to escape.</p><p>Raising your hands, you did the only think you could think to do to get her into the pod. With a shove, Sarai was thrown backwards by an invisible force. A look of confusion spread across her face as she tried to process what had just happened. Using the Force once more to hit the internal release, you sealed the blast door, allowing the pod to break off from the Nighthawk. Staring at you through the viewport on the blast door, Sarai was stunned, a mix of emotions swirled, not fully understanding what you had done.</p><p>“I’m sorry,” you said as it was all you could think to say as the pod began slowly floating away, staying concealed by the Nighthawk until they were clear to launch.</p><p>You hated yourself for keeping the Force a secret from Terris and Sarai, but with the First Order tracking down those sensitive to the Force, you made the decision a long time ago that you would never tell anyone, potentially put them in danger as well. By keeping your abilities hidden, you felt as though you were doing the right thing by protecting your friends.  </p><p>Sadly, you were unable to explain that to them now, as you still had your part of the plan to do if they were to have any hope of escaping free and clear. Swiping away the tears that threatened to fall, you made your way back to the cockpit.</p><p>Taking the gunner controls, you focused all shields to the front of the ship, and started firing at the light cruiser, trying to keep their attention solely on you. You were not trying to cause any real damage, only needing to keep their focus on you long enough for them to pull away. As soon as your cannons launched, aimed at their own ion cannons, the cloaked escape pod took off fast in the opposite direction.  </p><p>Suddenly, you were hit with an electromag disrupter, disabling all power to the Nighthawk except for the emergency life support, leaving your weapons useless. You were now completely at the mercy of the First Order.</p><p>Watching as the escape pod grew smaller as it sped off into open space, a sigh of relief escaped you as there were no signs that the First Order was trying to stop them. Thankful that your plan seemed to have worked, you tried to calm yourself as the Nighthawk was about to reach the light cruiser.</p><p>Through the static on the comms, an additional message came through.</p><p>
  <strong>“Stand down! Any further hostility will be met with lethal force. Prepare to be docked and taken into custody.” </strong>
</p><p>With that, the Nighthawk was landing in a bright hangar bay that was covered in a sea of white as Stormtroopers were lined up in perfect formation, surrounding your ship. Pulling on your cloak, and settling in the pilot’s chair, you gazed out of the viewport into the massive hangar bay, anticipating what is to come. Getting yourself out of this mess was going to be difficult, and you were praying to the Force that it would be possible without drawing any attention from the Supreme Leader.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter Two</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>General Hux and his stormtroopers search your ship and you are taken into custody as a prisoner of the First Order.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Chapter Warnings: Restraints, Slight Violence Against Reader (Stormtroopers are Not Nice), Imprisonment, Threat of Execution, Needles.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Lowering the ramp to the bottom deck of the Nighthawk, you watched through the viewport as six stormtroopers and a redheaded officer – who you assumed to be General Hux – walk up into your ship. Standing next to the pilot’s chair, you waited for them to reach the cockpit, reassuring yourself that you did everything you could to keep Terris and Sarai safe. The two of them were smart, Terris was a smuggler long before he met you, and would be able to finish the job.</p><p>Boot steps could be heard across the ship as the ‘troopers spread out searching the Nighthawk. Seconds later, a stormtrooper rounded the corner, aiming his blaster at you as he closed in on the cockpit. Following the stormtrooper was the redhead, eyeing you cautiously as they approached, another stormtrooper behind them. Not wanting to give them any reason to shoot you, you slowly raised your arms, showing your empty hands, and that you were not a threat.</p><p>“Don’t move!” The stormtrooper ordered as the party entered the cockpit. You complied, standing still as the one ‘trooper came closer, stepping behind you while the redhead observed you.</p><p>Without warning, rough hands took your wrists, forcing them down behind your back, and restraining them in a set of binders. You tested your bonds as the trooper proceeded to search your person. Taking your blaster pistol from its holster on your thigh, and the dagger in your boot, the ‘trooper finished his search and handed your weapons off to the redhead. Staying behind you, he gave you a small shove forward towards the others.</p><p>“Are you the captain of this vessel?” The redhead asked, a smug expression on his face. He was tall, with pasty skin, and cold piercing green eyes.</p><p>“I am. You must be Hux.” You stated, recognizing his voice from the transmissions.</p><p>The man wore a black greatcoat with First Order insignias on the arms. There was not a wrinkle in site and his hair was perfectly slicked back, not a single strand out of line. Standing perfectly straight, hands behind his back, it was clear that this man held himself to a high-standard.</p><p>“<em>General</em> Hux,” he corrected you. “Where is the rest of your crew? You couldn’t possibly be manning this ship alone.” He was looking down his nose at you as you took offense to his statement. You were perfectly capable of flying the Nighthawk on your own.</p><p>“Actually, I am capable as I am the only person on board.” You were technically telling him the truth.</p><p>“Right,” he gave you a repulsed look, “and do you have identification?” He asked.</p><p>“You know, I think I left it on my other ship.” You jested, not making his job any easier. </p><p>“Ah. So, you do not intend on cooperating with us.” He stated. </p><p>You smiled, “Now what fun would that be, <em>General</em>?” If he thought you were just going to roll over and do whatever he asked, he was horribly wrong.</p><p>The General hummed in response, looking you up and down before directing his attention to the stormtrooper that was not watching you. “Tear the ship apart and make sure no one else is aboard. Find whatever she is hiding, and report back to me immediately.” He ordered.</p><p>“Yes, sir.” The stormtrooper responded and relayed the orders through a commlink to the others that boarded the Nighthawk.</p><p>Now turning to address you, “You are being held on the suspicions of treason against the First Order.”</p><p>“Keep her here. If she tries anything foolish,” he paused, eyeing you disgustingly, “stun her.” He ordered your new stormtrooper guard who now pressed his blaster into your back.</p><p>Scowling at the General, you were shoved down to sit in your pilot’s chair. The ‘trooper stood next to you, never lowering the blaster. You made a mental note that your stormtrooper guard did not switch his blaster to stun per the General’s orders.</p><p>As the stormtroopers started tearing apart the ship, you heard metal clanging to the ground as the walls of the ship were being ripped apart. Knowing it wouldn’t be long before they found the cargo hold, you sat fidgeting, glaring at the stormtrooper.</p><p>“So, do they usually leave you to babysit the prisoner, or do you get to rotate jobs?” You asked, knowing it would annoy him.</p><p>“Shut up, Smuggler scum.” He hissed as you.</p><p>“Scum? Is that really the best you could come up with?” You taunted.</p><p>Raising his blaster, he was about to hit you with it, only to stop when an order came through his commlink. “CT-4115, bring the smuggler to the lower deck.”</p><p>Yanking you up from your seat with a tight hold on your arm, he shoved you hard enough that you stumbled forward, you struggled to keep your balance with your hands still bound behind you. With the barrel of his blaster between your shoulders, he continued to push you forward, the metal digging into your back.</p><p>“I’m going, jerk-ass. Back off.” You spat back over your shoulder at him.</p><p>Your ‘trooper guard did not appreciate your insult, earning yourself a sharp slap across your face and another shove forward. Your bottom lip split open, leaving you with the taste of copper in your mouth as it bled, and your cheek was surely going to bruise from the assault. You wondered if all stormtrooper were this rough, as you’ve barely given him reason to be as you have not put up any fight against him.</p><p>The stormtrooper walked you down through your ship, keeping the barrel of his blaster at your back and a firm grip on your upper arm. As you approached the cargo hold, several unmarked crates with the stolen First Order weapons inside had been pulled out of their hiding spot in the floor, and cracked open revealing their contents. General Hux was studying a weapon from one of the crates, seeing the First Order emblem proudly etched into its handle. It didn’t take long for you to notice the object sticking out of the General’s front coat pocket, causing your heart to sink.</p><p>“Shit.” You mumbled under your breath, not believing that he actually found it.</p><p>At that, the General’s head snapped up to you. The wry smile that spread across his lips when he saw what you were looking at, sent made you shudder. Setting the weapon back down in the crate, he walked over to stand directly in front of you. Pulling the hilt from his pocket, he held it up and you wanted more than anything to break free from your restraints and snatch it from him.</p><p>“Lightsabers are quite rare, smuggler. Do tell me, how did you come to possess a Jedi’s weapon?” He asked, waving the dark curved hilt of your saber in front of your face. He studied the intricate silver spiraled designed carved into the dark metal of the handle, thumb resting on the activator switch.</p><p>“It was given to me as payment. Last I checked, it wasn’t illegal to have one.” Lying about its origins, you were hoping he would not suspect you of being a Force user.</p><p>“Is that so?” Squinting at you in suspicion, he ignited the saber, the plasma blade illuminated the cargo hold in an orange hue. Clenching your jaw, you tried not to scream at him as he observed your blade, your hands shaking in their binders.</p><p>“In that case,” He said, quickly extinguishing the blade and handing it off to the trooper next to him. “Have the saber dismantled and the kyber crystal delivered to the Supreme Leader.” He ordered.</p><p>Dismantled? Gaping, you followed the ‘trooper with your eyes. No, no they can’t destroy your saber, it’s the only thing you had left from your training, the only reminder of who you are. In a sudden panic, you ripped yourself away from your guard and started to run in the direction of the stormtrooper who was leaving with your weapon.</p><p>“No! Stop! No! You can’t do that!” You yelled frantically just as you were being pulled back by your ‘trooper guard, his hand squeezing your shoulder hard, keeping you in place, causing you to wince in pain. </p><p>The stormtrooper who had your saber stopped, looking to General Hux before continuing on with his task. The smug look you received from the General told you he knew you were lying to him from the start. Glancing down at the ground, avoiding Hux’s cold gaze, you fought to hold back tears, cursing yourself for your outburst.</p><p>Stepping towards you, the General pinched your chin between his fingers, forcing you to look at him. With a tilt of his head, he studied your countenance as you tried to wrench yourself out of his hold. This only encouraged him to tighten his grip, keeping you right where he wanted you.</p><p>“You’re a bad liar,” he stated before pivoting to speak to the stormtrooper holding your weapon. “On second thought, see to it the weapon is delivered directly to the Supreme Leader, intact.” He ordered, sending the trooper away once more.</p><p>“No! Please, don’t take it! Give it back!” You screamed out. You couldn’t let them take it away. </p><p>Without a second thought, you willed the Force, using it to shove your ‘trooper guard off of you, back into the wall behind him. Kicking out in front of you, your foot collided with the General’s gut, sending him backwards, falling on his ass. He cried out in pain as you heard something snap when he landed on the ground.</p><p>The other stormtroopers were caught off guard and you turned, pulling your lightsaber towards your bound hands, ripping it away from the ‘troopers grasp. Just as you felt the metal hilt touch the tips of your fingers, a blaster was fired, sending you to the ground stunned, your lightsaber dropping with a loud clink of metal on metal.</p><p>As your vision was slowly fading, General Hux walked into your line of sight to stand over you with the same smug look as before. Bending down, he picked up your saber, and you could do nothing but watch as he placed it into an inside pocket of his greatcoat. You were helpless, and completely at the mercy of the First Order as the world around you was shrouded into darkness.</p><p> </p><p>****************</p><p> </p><p>When you came to, you were strapped into a seat on a small transport shuttle, stormtroopers sitting on either side of you. Blinking slowly, you groaned, looking up to see General Hux sitting across from you, a datapad sitting on his lap as he typed away. You noticed his left hand was now wrapped in bandages and you wondered if it was caused by your struggle before you were stunned.</p><p>Feeling a groggy and your limbs still heavy, you saw that your hands are now bound in front of you with a different set of binders. As you shifted in your seat, you drew the attention of General Hux as his head shot up to observe you.</p><p>“Ah. Good, you’re awake,” he said your name with a smirk, placing his datapad on the seat next to him.</p><p>Eyes wide, the name that he spoke was not one you had heard in a long time. General Hux had said your real name, not the one you had given yourself after going into hiding from the First Order.</p><p>Hux continued, seeing the shocked expression across your face, “We were able to identity you from the New Republic archives. Before their demise, they kept a close eye on young Force users such as yourself and it did not take long to find your record.”</p><p>You were unaware that the New Republic had kept a record of you or you would have found a way to remove any trace of yourself from their archives when you changed your name. Now that the General knew your true identity, there was no doubt that the Supreme Leader would also find out soon that you were alive, and in the custody of the First Order.</p><p>“Where is my saber?” You asked, worried he had taken it apart like he initially planned.</p><p>General Hux patted the side of his coat where he had placed the saber earlier. “It’s safe… for now. I will be handing it over to the Supreme Leader once we arrive.”</p><p>“Arrive where?” You asked, voice dry and cracking, leaving you to wonder how long you were knocked out for.</p><p>“The Steadfast, our Resurgent-class Star Destroyer,” he boasted. “You have been charged with and found guilty of treason against the First Order for the possession and illegal transport of stolen property, along with attacking a First Order General.” He raised his bandaged hand, confirming your theory. “Once we arrive, you will be processed and detained to await your execution.”</p><p>“Execution?” You asked, keeping your expression impassive as not to give the General the satisfaction of a reaction. </p><p>His terrifyingly wry smile returned, “Yes. Given your crimes and your… abilities, the Supreme Council has decided you are to be executed immediately, pending the Supreme Leader’s approval. I for one am looking forward to seeing you thrown out an airlock after the stunts you pulled today,” he stated with much enthusiasm. “Your kind are a threat to the order that has been brought to this galaxy, and must remain extinct.”</p><p>“My kind?” You scoffed, “What is that supposed to mean?” </p><p>“The Jedi, Force users. You are a menace and your existence must be kept under control.” He stated with finality.</p><p>“Does your Supreme Leader know about your feelings towards Force users, General?” You asked, glaring at him, wondering if General Hux disliked Kylo Ren as much as he dislikes you.</p><p>General Hux said nothing, ignoring your question. Glancing up to the cockpit of the shuttle, he began to unbuckle himself from his seat. Following his gaze, you saw that you were approaching the Star Destroyer, and were about to arrive in another hangar bay. The transport shuttle landed with ease within a few minutes and the two stormtroopers worked to unbuckle you from your seat, hauling you up to your feet to follow General Hux.</p><p>Walking out of transport and into the hangar bay, you were surrounded by groups of stormtroopers and officers, there to greet the General. Stopping to take in your surroundings, you were in awe, seeing how massive the brightly lit hangar was up close. Engineers and various First Order personnel scurried about their duties all around you and TIE fighters were lined up along the side walls.</p><p>“Keep moving,” said one of the ‘troopers escorting you, giving you a push forward. You recognized that he was the same stormtrooper from earlier, CT-4115.</p><p>Continuing on, you followed General Hux to the other side of the hangar. He stopped at the beginning of two corridors, turning to face you and your escorts.</p><p>“Take her to prison sector 45B for processing. Should she attempt to escape, or use the Force, activate her restraints.” He stated, nodding at your binders.</p><p>The ‘troopers acknowledged his order and with that, General Hux walked away from you as you were shoved in the opposite direction down one of the corridors. Looking at your bound hands, you realized what he meant, recognizing the stun cuffs locked around your wrists. Even if you did manage to get the cuffs off and escaped your two guards, there were too many Stormtroopers and Officers roaming the halls for you to get away unnoticed for too long.</p><p>Given that CT-4115 had no issues hitting you the last time you got mouthy with him, staying quiet seemed to be your smartest move right now. You were not wanting to give him a reason to stun you with your body still sore from the last time, and you were almost positive he would choose to shoot you instead of use the cuffs.</p><p>After walking through the maze of dark gray corridors, you reached the prison sector and was shoved into a bright room with white walls. The room was basic, used for processing prisoners, one wall had metal cabinets built into it, and in a corner, there was a small sanisteam. CT-4115 took you to stand in the middle of the room while the other stormtrooper guarded the door.</p><p>CT-4115 took off your restraints, ordering you to remove your clothes as he stood behind you, weapon trained on you the entire time. You complied, which left you standing there shivering, your body now exposed to cold air and the hidden stares of your guards. The feeling of the stormtroopers eyes on your nearly naked form made you uncomfortable.</p><p>In a matter of minutes, two droids hovered into the room and began running several scans over your body. They were poking you with needles as well, one drawing several vials of blood, which you were concerned as to why that was necessary. You were assigned a prisoner number by one of the droids, which you did not care to remember as you were to be executed soon anyways. When the droids were finished, CT-4115 pushed you into the sanisteam, where you were granted two whole minutes to rinse off under cold water behind the privacy of a thin curtain.</p><p>After you finished your shower and dried off, you were given a dark gray prison uniform to wear, which included underwear, a pair of pants, and a long sleeve shirt all made of cheap scratchy material. You assumed it was your new prisoner number that was printed on the sleeves of your shirt, PN-3108. The stun cuffs were then replaced, binding your wrists in front of you once more, and you were left barefoot, and was forced out of the room to be taken to your cell.</p><p>The long corridor you were led down was lined with countless prison cells, all kept locked by red glowing electron barriers. Most of the cells appeared to be occupied by various individuals being held as prisoners by the First Order. When you reached your cell at the end of the corridor, noting that you were placed away from the other prisoners, the barrier dropped and you were unceremoniously shoved into the small room. Stumbling to keep your balance, you turned just as the barrier went back up, locking you inside, and the ‘troopers disappeared. </p><p>Looking around your tiny cell, there was a table like structure attached to the far wall, which you assumed to be your bed, and a toilet with a small basin was attached to the adjoining wall. The cell was dark, the ceiling lined with dim lights, and the walls were a dull gray, similar to the corridors of the ship, and your new clothes.</p><p>Numerous attempts at unlocking your restraints and the barrier to your cell proved to be futile. You gave up, seeing that the electronic locks made it impossible to manipulate them with the Force. The grated floor of your cell was beginning to dig into the soles of your feet, forcing you to sit on the bed to relieve them from the pain. Sitting with your back up against the wall, you wondered what the Supreme Leader would decide to do with you. All you could do now was wait.</p><p>******</p><p>After what felt like hours of staring at the gray wall and picking at the sides of your nails, a single set of heavy boot steps could be heard echoing down the corridor. The closer those boot steps drew, a cold touch through the Force drifted over you causing the hairs on the back of your neck to rise. A powerful dark signature in the Force, one that felt vaguely familiar to you, grew stronger sending a shiver down your spine.</p><p>Staring out through the red barrier of your cell, a tall dark shadow stepped into view, the icy feeling through the Force was now flooding your senses. There was no doubt in your mind, that the shadow before you, was Kylo Ren.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Chapter Three</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Kylo Ren is surprised to find you alive and on his ship. The reunion with the man you once knew as Ben Solo, does not go as expected as he dives into your mind for answers on how you’re alive.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Chapter Warnings: Force Choking, Mind Probing with the Force, Restraints, Imprisonment, Angst. </p><p>Note: There are parts where we see a glimpse of Kylo’s point of view, but it is kept brief. Initially, I was going to keep this strictly told in the Reader's POV, but I feel like it helps clarifies things. I'm not sure at this time how often I will add in Kylo's POV going forward.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>To say Kylo Ren was surprised to see you alive, would be an understatement. Not many things could catch him off guard, but when he returned from his mission, and was immediately given your file, he was in utter disbelief. Everything and everyone at the Jedi Temple was destroyed that night, no one survived except himself and those who were off world, so how was it possible for you to be sitting in a cell right now, on his ship. </p><p>Pulling up the holofeed for your cell, Kylo Ren stared at your form as you sat on the bed curled up into yourself. He could not believe what he was seeing, because you were supposed to be dead, he had lost you all those years ago. Before doing anything else, Kylo made his way to your cell, to see if you were real. As he approached the prison sector, he could easily sense your light through the Force, and it nearly stole his breath. You were alive, you were here, and he had to know how. </p><p>The Supreme Council had already voted on your sentence, and after reviewing your crimes, he was not surprised by their decision. Unfortunately for the council, Kylo was going to have other plans for you.</p><p>******</p><p>Known to the galaxy only as Kylo Ren, you knew who the dark Force user really was. You’ve known for about a year, since the day the First Order made the official announcement, introducing the new Supreme Leader to the known galaxy. Since finding out the truth, you worked hard to rid yourself of the pain and hatred that came with seeing his face for the first time since the day Luke’s Temple burned to the ground.</p><p>Now, with Kylo Ren standing mere feet away from you, the familiar signature in the Force reached out to touch you, bringing the repressed emotions and memories back to life. The ache in your chest from losing everything that ill-fated night, and the hatred from putting the pieces together, realizing that Ben Solo, no Kylo Ren, was the monster who destroyed it all, came rushing back to you. Rage started seeping in as you glared through the barrier at the dark figure, wishing he would go and allow you to rot in your cell in peace. </p><p>As if reading your mind, which he probably was, he did the exact opposite, and the barrier fell, allowing him to step inside, causing your breath to catch in your throat. His form was clad in black, a long cape draped over his shoulders, and his lightsaber was clipped to his belt. Covered in sweat, grime, and what you assumed to be blood, Kylo must not have been aboard the Steadfast when you were taken into custody.</p><p>Kylo tried to hide the shock that covered his visage, looking as though he was seeing a ghost, and in a way, he was. Had you not been expecting some type of reaction from him, you may have missed it, as the guise of indifference quickly replacing it.</p><p>Quickly standing from the sorry excuse for a bed, the grated floor dug into your feet once more, you took a step away from him, keeping a distance between you and the Jedi Killer. As you backed away from him, Kylo stopped, studying you under his intense gaze, noticing you wince in pain. You found yourself caught in those deep brown eyes that you were all too familiar with.</p><p>The mix of emotions rolling off of him through the Force was palpable, flooding your senses with confusion, disbelief, and pain. That’s when you realized why he was so taken aback by your presence. Kylo Ren truly never knew that you had survived the massacre at the Temple, believing all these years that you had perished that fatal night along with everyone else.</p><p>Taking in his features as he stood before you, you noticed that he is taller than you remembered, and broader. His dark obsidian locks were longer, still appearing to have the same feathery texture, that you once relished in running your fingers through. The constellation of moles that speckle his face are still the same. The scar, however, that ran from his brow, trailing down his cheek and disappearing under the collar of his armor, was new. It enraged you that, as he stood before you, he looked divine, and you still found him just as breathtaking as the day you first met him. </p><p>With your heart racing in your chest and breathing uneven, your entire body was shaking. You did not say a word as you were struggling to contain what you were feeling towards him in this moment. However, there was no doubt that Kylo Ren would be able to sense your feelings— anger, fear, sadness, and hatred, all emotions you were once taught to control, now flowing through you as you refused to look away from him.</p><p>“You’re so angry.” He stated, finally breaking the silence. “Do you forget your training so easily?”</p><p>Trying to keep yourself from lashing out, you gritted your teeth and spoke, “That tends to happen when your Master is dead, and you’re abandoned, left on your own with no guidance.” This was all <em>his </em>fault, and seeing him here, standing in front of you, it infuriated you.</p><p>“If I’m not mistaken, <em>you</em> are supposed to be dead, same as your <em>Master</em>.” His tone was flat, lacking any emotion, only spitting the last word at you.</p><p>Taking a deep breath, “Are you here to kill me then?” After all this time, you were not sure what he would do if you ever saw him again, as you did not exactly leave things on the best of terms before it all went up in flames.</p><p>Before answering your question, Kylo took a step towards you, causing you to retreat, your back colliding with the wall behind you.</p><p>“Kill you?” He paused, studying you, “I have no plans to kill you.”</p><p>“Then what do you want? I’ve apparently committed treason. Am I not to be executed for my crimes?” You asked, brow furrowing as you fought to keep your voice from wavering.</p><p>Kylo Ren said nothing, instead taking three long strides toward you. Hands shaking in their restraints, you raised them in front of you in an effort to stop him from coming any closer, your back pressed against the wall, wishing it would open and swallow you up. </p><p>“G-Get away! Do not come near me!” You shouted, keeping your arms outstretched, cuffed hands inches from touching his massive chest.</p><p>With a smirk, he ignored your demands, taking one final step to tower over you, your hands now flat against his chest. Feeling the heat radiating from under his armor, his muscles tensed under the fabric of his armor, his scent began filling your senses, your world engulfed in the smell of burnt embers and leather. Being this close to him, after all this time, was making you dizzy, the past you shared with him trying to make itself known with the help of the Force.</p><p>As if he felt your struggle, Kylo’s gloved hand came up to gently caress your bruised cheek, much like he did when the two of you were back at the Temple. His thumb brushed the cut on your quivering lip, the gift from your stormtrooper friend, causing you to hiss in pain. Pressing your bound hands against his chest, you tried to push him away from you, trying to will the Force to help you, but your efforts were ineffective against his solid frame.</p><p>“D-don’t Ben. Just get away f-from me.” You whispered, as you turned your head away from his touch.</p><p>Kylo instantly froze, staring at your lips, where that name had been brought to life once more. Hearing the name fall from your tongue so naturally, it was as if, for a brief moment, no time had passed since you last saw each other. That quickly changed as the name began to echo in his mind. One of the last people he heard say it, was Rey, when she rejected him. Rage started to boil over with the memory of that day, the muscle under his eye twitched, and he quickly reacted.</p><p>The darkness Kylo carried began to flurry throughout your cell, his presence now becoming a violent storm around you. The hand on your cheek quickly slid down, gripping your jaw in his hand, a whimper escaped your lips as you were forced to look up at him.</p><p>“Ben Solo is gone, he’s dead. That name is not to be spoken again.” Squeezing harder as he spoke, his tone left no room for argument. “Understood?” He snarled as his eyes growing darker with fury. Nodding quickly, as best you could, you winced in pain before he finally released you.</p><p>Kylo’s hand that held your jaw now moved down to wrap around your neck, he was not blocking your airway, simply holding you in place against the wall with a firm grip. As you brought your hands up to wrap around his wrist and started squirming in his hold, you were oblivious to his left hand rising up, now hovering in your periphery. By the time you realized what he was doing, it was too late. The tendrils of the Force started weaving their way into your mind, digging deep into your memories.</p><p>Trying to throw up walls to protect your friends and the Resistance, you attempted to wrench yourself from his grasp. Unfortunately for you, it had been too long since you had to defend your mind against such an intrusion. Kylo Ren was too strong and the pain was becoming too much as you struggled to break free. Luckily for you, Kylo was only after one thing.</p><p>Memories from years ago, ones you never wanted to see again, began to flash in your head. Digging deeper and deeper, Kylo was determined to find out how you had survived that night, only pausing in his search when he came upon a memory of the two of you, the last one you had shared together. In hearing his own voice, he pulled the memory to the front of your mind.</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong> <em>“Leave with me.” </em> </strong>
</p><p>
  <strong> <em>Ben stood in front of you, the two of you returning to your separate huts after a rough day of training. Master Skywalker was especially tough on Ben during your meditation sessions today. Meditating was the only area in your training that Ben did not immediately excel at, like he did in everything else when it came to the Force. Master Skywalker always pushed Ben harder more than anyone else, trying to help him control his power. </em> </strong>
</p><p>
  <strong> <em>“What do you mean ‘leave’, Ben?” You asked, brow furrowed in confusion. </em> </strong>
</p><p>
  <strong> <em>“I mean,” he stepped closer, taking your hands in his, “leave with me, tonight. Runaway from all of this, away from the Jedi. We can start a new life of our own, together. We can go wherever we want and there will be no expectations, no fears, no legacies, just us and the entire galaxy before us.” </em> </strong>
</p><p>
  <strong> <em>Ben squeezed your hands, keeping you focused on only him, your eyes never leaving his own. “Leave…? Ben, t-this is my home, and I still have so much to learn here. I can’t just leave.” </em> </strong>
</p><p>
  <strong> <em>Shaking his head, Ben pulled you closer, his grip on your hands tightening further, “Yes, you can. This isn’t your home, not really. You know what Luke and the others think of your skills, you’ll never be good enough to them.”</em> </strong>
</p><p>
  <strong> <em>“What do you mean I’ll never be good enough?” You scoffed, taking a step back and pulling your hands free, crossing your arms at your chest. “I know I’m average at best right now, but that’s why we’ve been training together, every night, so that I can get stronger. Is that how you see me, Ben? Have all the late-night training sessions been for nothing? Have you just been lying to me this whole time, thinking that I will never succeed in becoming a Jedi?” </em> </strong>
</p><p>
  <strong> <em>You started to turn away from him towards your own hut when he grabbed your wrist, keeping you there with him. “No. No, Ace. That’s not it at all. You are enough, you always will be, but Luke will never believe that, despite how hard you work for it, how hard you work for his approval. We don’t need any of this, we can just go, I’ve already made the arrangements.” Ben’s bottom lip trembled as he looked at you with those pleading brown eyes. </em> </strong>
</p><p><strong> <em>“That’s not true,” tears started to well up, threatening to fall, “I am getting better, Master Skywalker said it himself, he does believe in me. This is where I belong, Ben. You know that I never had a real home before I came here, I can’t just leave it all behind.” </em> </strong> <strong>  </strong></p><p>
  <strong> <em>Trying to pull away once more, Ben let go only to quickly cradle your face in his hands, bending down to your level to look you in the eyes. “No Ace, you’re still holding on! You don’t belong here or to the Jedi, you belong to me—with me. If we stay here, we’ll never be able to stay together, it’s against the Jedi code, you know that.”</em> </strong>
</p><p>
  <strong> <em>Ben’s hands began shaking, his thumb brushing away a tear that escaped down your cheek. “Please, Ace. Just come with me, start a new life, one that we choose what we want to be.” </em> </strong>
</p><p>
  <strong> <em>Tears now started to flow freely down your cheeks. What he was asking you to do was not as simple as he was making it out to be. The bond you had formed with Ben was seemingly unbreakable, and because of that, he was right, they would separate the two of you, but you couldn’t just leave this life behind you so easily, not after everything you went through to get here. This is the life you wanted, but you wanted Ben to be in it too. </em> </strong>
</p><p>
  <strong> <em>“Ben, we don’t have to leave tonight, we don’t have to decide this right now, please just… we can figure something else out.” You started to beg, if he could just give you more time, you could find a different way, there had to be another way. </em> </strong>
</p><p>
  <em> <strong>Shaking his head, “No. We can’t stay here any longer, it has to be tonight. I heard Luke talking with the others, they want to separate us now, and I can’t let them do it, I can’t let them take you from me.” Leaning in, Ben crashed his lips to yours in a passionate and desperate kiss. Ben’s bottom lip trembled as he pulled away to look you in the eyes. “Please.” </strong> </em>
</p><p>
  <em> <strong>Sniffling, your gaze fell to the ground as your body shook, and tears dripped down your chin, hitting the dirt and staining your boots. Bottom lip quivering, you squeezed your eyes shut before moving your hands over top of Ben’s and pulling yourself out of his grasp.</strong> </em>
</p><p>
  <strong> <em>“I’m sorry, Ben,” you started to say, opening our eyes and looking up to see his now broken expression. “I want to be with you, I really do, but it’s not that easy for me. I chose to come here, left behind a terrible life to be here, to become a Jedi, and to do something good. I can’t just leave.” You knew Ben wanting to leave was more than just being separated from you, his family chose this life for him, and he never truly wanted to be here, but you do, you did choose this life, and you couldn’t just leave despite your feelings for him. </em> </strong>
</p><p>
  <strong> <em>Ben stepped away from you, hands clenching into fists at his sides and his breathing became erratic. Biting your lip, your tears continued to flow as you watched as Ben paced back and forth in front of you. Everything he was feeling—rejection, pain, anger— flowed through the Force, hitting you hard enough to steal the air from your lungs. A sob finally wracked your body as you caught your breath. </em> </strong>
</p><p><strong> <em>Turning back to you, Ben leaned down to meet your gaze once more. His eyes had turned dark, and a cold feeling swept over you when he touched you. “I don’t mean anything to you, do I? Is that it, I mean nothing to you at all, just a tool to improve your skills so you can impress the old man?”</em> </strong> <strong>  </strong></p><p>
  <strong> <em>Shaking your head, he knows that’s not true, “Ben, No! You know that’s not—” </em> </strong>
</p><p><strong> <em>“Save it!” He cut you off, throwing a hand up, not letting finish. He turned and started walking off, away from the village.</em> </strong> <strong>  </strong></p><p>
  <strong> <em>Running after him, you were suddenly stopped after only a few paces, Ben’s hand was outstretched in your direction. Your entire body was frozen in place by the embrace of the Force. That was not a skill that Master Skywalker had taught you, and you wondered where he had learned it from. Unable to speak, your eyes pleaded with him. </em> </strong>
</p><p>
  <strong> <em>“Do not follow me. I don’t want to hear your excuses, I don’t even want to look at you right now. You’re just like them.” He snarled. Ben’s gazed dropped to the ground, not sparing you another glance before he released you. </em> </strong>
</p><p>
  <strong> <em>Falling to your knees in the dirt, you watched Ben walk away, disappearing down the path to that led into the forest. Sobbing, you sat on the ground, a flood of tears rushed down your face and into your hands.</em> </strong>
</p><p>
  <strong> <em>The longer you sat there, you thought about what Ben meant with his last words. You knew his parents had abandoned him, sending him here to the Temple to train with Luke, all so they could focus on their own ambitions, despite Ben’s protests, and now he thought you were doing the same thing. Ben believed that you were choosing a life as a Jedi, instead of the one he was offering you with him. </em> </strong>
</p><p>
  <strong> <em>The bond the two of you had formed was quickly crumbling as Ben disappeared from your sight. The loss of your connection to him felt like you were stabbed in the chest, the pain rippling through the Force as the bond was completely severed, leaving you with only an unbearable empty feeling inside.  </em> </strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>  </strong>
</p><p>“Get out of my head!” your screams echoed through your cell as you fought the building pressure inside your skull. The memories of the day Luke’s Temple burned, continued to flicker in your mind as he dug further. Tears began falling as the emotions from that day came flooding back with the memories.</p><p>Kylo had allowed himself to be distracted by the memory of your rejection from that night, but your screaming pulled him back to his task. Ignoring your demand, and the feelings that the memories brought back, he continued to seek out the information he wanted.</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong> <em>After your fight with Ben, you tossed and turned on your cot for hours, unable to find sleep as your mind raced, replaying Ben’s words over and over. When you couldn’t stand it any longer, you decided to take a walk down to the beach. The sound of the waves crashing against the shore and the smell of salt in the humid air, always helped you clear your head. The middle of the night was your favorite time to walk down along the shore, the bright moons would light your way and reflected off the rippling water so beautifully.</em> </strong>
</p><p>
  <strong> <em>After walking up and down the shoreline for who knows how long, you sat down near the path, burying your toes in the sand as you watched the waves roll in. Your emotions had been all over the place since the fight, and you were confused as what you should do. Leaving with Ben would mean leaving the Jedi behind, all of the hard work would just be thrown away for an uncertain future. </em> </strong>
</p><p><strong> <em>Pleading with the Force, you looked up into the night sky that glistened with stars, and begged it to guide you to make the right decision. You were being put into an impossible position, but as your connection to Ben was severed, you questioned your choice to reject his offer in that moment. A few tears skidded down your cheeks as you began to search for an answer.</em> </strong> <strong>  </strong></p><p>
  <strong> <em>“Please… please tell me what I should do.” You whispered. Sniffling, you wiped the tears from your cheeks with the sleeve of your night robes. </em> </strong>
</p><p>
  <strong> <em>Bringing your knees to your chest, you buried your face into them. Your mind would not stray away from Ben for even a second, and the longer your connection to him was gone, the more you ached to have it back— to have him back. Your Jedi training had become important to you, it was your entire life, but now, you weren’t sure it was worth losing Ben, because you loved him. </em> </strong>
</p><p><strong> <em>That was the first time you had ever admitted it to yourself. Being a Jedi meant not giving into your emotions, into passion, or attachments, so you always pushed the feelings down, and focused on your training. Now, after feeling your connection to him fade, you weren’t sure you made the right decision. </em> </strong> </p><p>
  <strong> <em>*CRAAAAACK!*</em> </strong>
</p><p>
  <strong> <em>The lightning strike behind you lit up the entire sky, turning night into day for only a brief moment, the loud boom echoing across the land grabbing your attention. Spinning around and up to your feet, you saw the faint warm glow of flames and smoke rising and swirling into the air where the Jedi Temple stood. It only took a second for you to realize the lightening had hit the Temple and it was now on fire.</em> </strong>
</p><p>
  <strong> <em>Running up the path, you were far from the Temple grounds and it took you longer than you wanted to get back. By the time you had reached the Temple, it was completely engulfed in flames. The entire area was shrouded in smoke, stinging your eyes and burning your lungs. Hardly able to see, you closed your eyes and searched for signs of life inside the Temple, but you couldn’t find any.</em> </strong>
</p><p>
  <strong> <em>In a panic, you took off around to the other side of the Temple to check on the village, only to turn the corner and find every single one of them consumed by fire, as well. It was becoming harder to breathe as you coughed from the smoke and ash in the air. As you looked around more, you could barely see through the destruction, and you thought your mind was playing tricks on you when you thought you saw seven dark figures in the distance through the smoke. </em> </strong>
</p><p>
  <strong> <em>The figures disappeared into the haze, and you thought your mind was surely affected from the lack of oxygen from the smoke. Searching for any signs of life in the village, you fell to your knees and cried out, as once more, you could not sense any living signatures through the Force, not even Ben’s. Everything and everyone, was gone. </em> </strong>
</p><p> </p><p>“Please.” Your voice barely above a whisper, not wanting to relive the past any longer, the pain you felt from losing Ben twice that day had returned in full force. He was the reason you had survived that night. Had it not been for your fight, you would have been asleep in your hut when it was destroyed.</p><p>Tears continued in streams down your cheeks, and your vision began to fade as you began to lose consciousness from the pressure inside your head. Through the ringing in your ears, you heard a deep chuckle from Kylo, before releasing his hold on you and stepping away.</p><p>“So, that’s how,” was all he said as he took a step back.</p><p>Collapsing to the ground, your knees hit the grated floor, and pain rippled through your body as your head throbbed from his invasion on your mind. The memories he pulled to the front of your mind were followed by all the pain and despair that you had shoved away many years ago. Your heart ached in your chest, as you recalled feeling as though you truly lost the man you loved that night.</p><p>You hated him for bringing up those memories, that he dwelled on them, pulling them into the light so they were fresh in your mind once more. If he wanted to know how you were here, he could have just asked.</p><p>From your spot on the floor, you glared up at him as he walked towards the door, ready to leave you in your cell without another word. That was it? He’s just going to leave like that after ripping your mind apart?</p><p>“Wait! B—” Your words caught in your throat before you could finish saying that name. Kylo spun on his heel, his gloved hand outstretched in your direction, the Force wrapped around your neck, constricting your airway. He warned you not to say that name, but you started to blurt it out without realizing.</p><p>Eyes watering, you scratched at the invisible hand at your throat, fighting for air. “K-Kylo,” you croaked. Kylo’s face twisted in rage before finally releasing you. He left you gasping for air on your hands and knees as he continued walking towards the door to leave your cell. Sniffling and wiping your cheeks with your sleeve, you peered up at him, tears still flowing.</p><p>“I hate you,” you sneered, throat now sore from his assault.</p><p>Kylo grimaced at your words and stopped at the threshold of your cell. He could feel the hurt and anger flowing from you through the Force, but he tried not to care as the pain from that night was threatening to return inside him as well. Choosing to ignore you, he walked out of the door and back down the corridor. The barrier to your cell quickly reactivated, and you were left alone once more.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Chapter Four</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Kylo Ren struggles to process the fact that you are alive and back in his life. Reader is still imprisoned, left to pick herself up after Kylo left her with conflicting emotions.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Chapter Warnings: Mentions of Mind Probing, Restraints, Imprisonment, Violence against Reader (Stormtroopers are Not Nice), Threat of Torture, Abandonment.</p><p>This chapter is a little longer, and I hope it was worth the wait. It was a really difficult one for me to write, but it's finally done.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>I hate you</em>
</p><p>Your words echoed in Kylo’s mind as he made his way through the ship towards his quarters. Kylo’s goal was not to make you hate him, at least not any more than you already did. He had been alone for so long, believing that you, the only person who ever truly loved and accepted him, was dead. Since that day, Kylo has had no one who cared for him like you had, and the feeling of being so utterly unloved and unwanted plagued him constantly.</p><p>When he felt your warm presence in the Force once again, there was the smallest glint of hope that maybe not all was lost, and there was a chance you could be his again. <em>Hope</em>, it was something that Kylo had not been familiar with for a long time. He’s aware of the hate and anger that you currently feel towards him and knows it will not be easy to break through and gain your trust. Kylo has left too much death in destruction in his path for you to give into him without a fight.</p><p>Storming through the halls of the <em>Steadfast</em>, Kylo wanted to ignore your flare that burned bright through the Force, but it wasn’t possible. Now that he’s seen you, felt your presence in the Force and knows that you’re real, you were the only thing he could think about.</p><p>His hands curled into fists at his side as he tried to push away the feelings of pain and anger that continued to flow from you through the Force. It was no surprise to Kylo that you were aware of who he had become. The waves of emotions crashed over him as soon as he stepped into your cell. You had disregarded all of your training that taught you to keep yourself in check, and instead started to let it consume you.</p><p>While Kylo was inside your mind, searching for answers as to how you survived, he saw an abundance of other memories of your life. The day you found out that he was the Supreme Leader was one of your darkest memories. The heartbreak and rage that swirled around him was palpable as the cold touch of the dark side was trying to take root inside you that day. He was not at all surprised to find that you believed he was responsible for the extinction of the Jedi, and the destruction of the temple.  </p><p>As Kylo passed through the corridors, fearful officers and stormtroopers respectfully greeted him. It took an immense amount of restraint for him not to let your emotions fuel his own. He was seconds away from destroying the nearest console or shoving the crackling blade of his saber through an unlucky stormtrooper. He knew he shouldn’t allow you to have such an effect on him like this. He should be leaving his thoughts and feelings for you buried deep where they belonged.</p><p>When you rejected his offer to run away with him that night, Snoke was right there in his head, affirming his beliefs that he was unwanted and unloved by all those around him, and after Skywalker attempted to kill him, Kylo let the darkness finally take its hold on him. When Kylo thought you were truly gone, and you had burned along with the others, he used that pain to fuel the darkness and let it start to consume him, accepting his destiny.</p><p>Now that you were suddenly back in his life, he wasn’t quite sure what he should do or how he should even feel. Seeing your face and hearing your voice again after so long, only reminded him that maybe he was never able to truly let you go after that night. Despite the last conversation you had with him not ending the way he had wanted, Kylo was content in seeing that you had survived, and by some chance have ended up here on his ship.</p><p>Unfortunately, Kylo is now faced with a significant issue with wanting to keep you alive. Your unexpected arrival is already threatening his ambitions in conquering the galaxy. The Supreme Council has unanimously voted on your immediate execution, believing you are a threat to their power given your abilities and your crimes. As Supreme Leader, Kylo holds the power to overturn their decision, but if the council is going to accept it without protest, he would have to find a way to make you useful to them.</p><p>As Kylo was approaching his quarters, he had to refrain from rolling his eyes as he was welcomed by General Hux. Standing with his hands clasped behind his back, Hux had a smug expression on his face, clearly proud of himself for capturing you. Kylo was not oblivious of Hux’s feelings towards him, or how he believed he would make a better leader. He has been keeping a close watch on the General, and his demotion after Snoke was eliminated was just what he needed to keep him in line, at least for now.</p><p>“Supreme Leader,” he greeted, “are you aware of our newest prisoner?”</p><p>“I am, and if you are here for my approval for her execution, that has not yet been decided,” Kylo stated. He would make a formal announcement of his decision when the Council convenes for tomorrow morning’s briefing. For now, you would have to remain in your cell.   </p><p>“Of course,” General Hux nodded. “though, there is something I thought you would be interested in,” Hux stated with an outstretched hand.  </p><p>In the General’s grasp was your lightsaber, exactly how Kylo remembered it, the curved hilt and its silver spirals etched into the dark metal grip. Hiding the smile threatening his lips, Kylo remembered how you had worked for hours carving each small curl, making the saber unique and extraordinary, just like you.</p><p>Taking the lightsaber, Kylo held it in his hand, the weapon was a perfect extension of you. He admired how the hilt still appeared clean and new, imagining that it likely had not seen much action since you fled the temple. Kylo knew that you were smart and were able to keep yourself hidden over the years, even from him, knowing your saber would only attract unwanted attention.</p><p>Igniting the blade, the deep orange plasma glowed bright like a fire in the dark corridor of the <em>Steadfast</em>. Kylo gazed into its vibrant orange hue, his thoughts drifting back to you. General Hux cleared his throat, seizing the Supreme Leader’s attention and Kylo swiftly deactivated the blade and clipped it to his belt next to his own.</p><p>“Is there anything else?” Kylo asked, tone indifferent.</p><p>“I had the smuggler’s ship brought to the <em>Steadfast</em>, it is currently docked in hangar H-55. Technicians are pulling the hyperspace logs to find out where she came from and if the navi-computer had coordinates for her destination. The weapons she was smuggling are property of the First Order, and we are still trying to find out how she was able to obtain them,” Hux explained.</p><p>“I want anything found sent to me immediately.” Kylo ordered.</p><p>“Yes, Supreme Leader,” Hux responded and took his leave.</p><p>Entering his quarters, Kylo made his way through the large living area, the dim lights slowly transitioning brighter as they sensed his movement in the room. Kylo’s quarters were large, in a secluded part of the ship near his throne room. They were originally designed for Snoke, but he never used them as he never left the <em>Supremacy </em>before he met his demise. The walls were a dark grey, similar to the rest of this ship’s design, but there were red accents that added a little color to the rooms.</p><p>Kylo did not feel as though he needed the excessive space and lavish design that was meant for another. Seeing as he did not spend much time in his quarters, he accepted the space as his own all the same. He did like the fact that he was secluded from the rest of the ship, allowing him to meditate peacefully when he needed.</p><p>The main living area had a black leather couch that sat across from two matching chairs, separated by a small table in between them. Shelves were built into the far wall where Kylo stored and displayed his many ancient texts and artifacts that he has collected over time. A sizable floor to ceiling transparisteel viewport stretched the length of the far wall and extended into the kitchen, allowing a constant view of the stars and nearby planets.</p><p>A long dining table, able to seat at least ten people, separated the kitchen from the living area. The tall counter ran around the edge of the kitchen, and durasteel cabinets sat above them. Kylo never used the kitchen, only for simple nutrition and hydration. His meals were prepared for him like the other high-ranking officers who barely had time to sleep, let alone cook for themselves.</p><p>Along the wall opposite of the viewport, were three doorways, one leading to the master bedroom, one to a study, and the last to a spare bedroom. Kylo made his way into his bedroom, stopping at the foot of his large bed.</p><p>Extending the entire length of the ceiling in his room, was another massive transparisteel viewport that allowed Kylo to see the stars as he laid in bed. That was one feature in these quarters that he allowed himself to enjoy.</p><p>Sitting on the edge of the bed that was covered in black silken sheets, he looked out into the endless abyss of space. A sigh fell from his lips as Kylo ran a hand through his hair, his body and mind exhausted. Bending to rest his elbows on his knees, he removed his gloves and dropped them to the floor at his feet. Unable to keep thoughts of you from his mind, Kylo reached around and unclipped your saber from his belt, bringing it up to examine it once more.</p><p>Turning the small curved hilt over in his hands, he ignited the blade and stared at the glowing orange plasma as a memory of the day you assembled your lightsaber drifted to the front of his mind.</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p><strong> <em>Ten</em> </strong> <strong><em>Years Ago </em> <em>(Three Years before the Temple’s destruction)</em> </strong></p><p>
  <strong> <em>Walking back from the Temple after a lesson with Luke, Ben heard a muffled scream come from your hut as he approached it. He did not need to enter to know what had you upset. You had finally acquired your kyber crystal and had spent the past eight days struggling to assemble your lightsaber.  </em> </strong>
</p><p>
  <strong> <em>Pushing open the door to your hut, Ben ducked his head and entered unannounced. He found you sitting on the floor with your legs cross, the various pieces of your lightsaber were scattered about in front of you. Ben silently chuckled at the sight before him. You had your face shoved into a pillow, and mumbling a frustrated rant about how stupid the Force was being. </em> </strong>
</p><p>
  <strong> <em>Quietly approaching you, Ben reached for the pillow and you yelped in surprise as he snatched it away, revealing your tear stained face. Embarrassed that he had caught you crying, you covered your face with your hands to hide from him. Tossing the pillow onto your bed, Ben sat down across from you, observing all the pieces before him. He offered a small smile as he pulled your hands away from your face to meet your gaze. </em> </strong>
</p><p>
  <strong> <em>“Still haven’t figured it out yet?” He asked, pointing out the obvious. </em> </strong>
</p><p>
  <strong> <em>Looking across at Ben, you sighed, dropping your shoulders in defeat. “No, Ben. I have not figured it out. As you can clearly see, the lightsaber is still in a million kriffing pieces on the floor!” You retorted. </em> </strong>
</p><p>
  <strong> <em>Given that you started your Jedi training at a much later age than most, Ben knew this would be a challenge for you. When Luke brought you to the Temple three years ago, you were only fifteen. Ben remembered Luke saying that, despite your late start, you had great potential. Despite the lack of training, your skills were well developed, and all you needed was a teacher and proper guidance. </em> </strong>
</p><p>
  <strong> <em>A grin spread across Ben’s face as he snickered, amused with your struggle, knowing that building a lightsaber was not a simple task for anyone. He had faith in you though, and believed with his whole heart that you could do this. </em> </strong>
</p><p>
  <strong> <em>“Is this funny to you? Because I don’t find this very funny. How am I supposed to become a Jedi when I can’t even put together a stupid laser sword?” You said, throwing your hands up in frustration. </em> </strong>
</p><p>
  <strong> <em>Ben’s smile grew wider. “It’s a little funny,” he said with a chuckle, “Only because I know that you are completely capable of doing this.” Constructing his own saber took more time than he thought it would too. </em> </strong>
</p><p>
  <strong> <em>Shaking your head, you dropped your gaze to the floor and fidgeted with a small piece of your saber. Ben didn’t like the fact that he couldn’t help you in this task, that it was something you had to do on your own, but he knew he could at least offer a little advice. </em> </strong>
</p><p>
  <strong> <em>“Hey,” Ben leaned forward and took your hand that held the small piece, “look at me for a sec,” he gently instructed. Your head rose and your tear-filled eyes met his, your bottom lip was jutted out in a pout. Ben’s features softened and he gave you a reassuring smile as his other hand brushed away a tear that slid down your cheek. It nearly broke his heart seeing you so upset, and he wanted to help more than he was able to. </em> </strong>
</p><p>
  <strong> <em>“You can do this. I know you can.” He caressed your cheek for a moment before taking the piece from your hand and laying it back on the ground with the others, “You need to concentrate, completely let go and allow the Force to guide you.” </em> </strong>
</p><p>
  <strong> <em>“Ben, I’ve tried, I just don’t think I c—” </em> </strong>
</p><p>
  <strong> <em>He cut you off from the rant of self-doubt you were about to go on, “Yes, you can, and you will. Trust me.” </em> </strong>
</p><p>
  <strong> <em>Through the Force, Ben pushed a sense of calm and stillness to you. Taking a deep breath, you accepted it, allowing it to wrap around you like a warm hug. The corner of your mouth twitched just the slightest as you tried to hide a smile from forming. Ben knew it annoyed you how he was able to use the force in order to have such an influence on you. </em> </strong>
</p><p>
  <strong> <em>“Do you want me to go?” Ben asked. Now that it appeared you had a handle on things, he did not want you to feel pressured with him here. </em> </strong>
</p><p>
  <strong> <em>“No, please stay,” you said with pleading eyes. </em> </strong>
</p><p>
  <strong> <em>Ben nodded, sitting back down and placing his hands on his knees. He watched as you closed your eyes, taking deep controlled breaths, and concentrated on letting the Force guide you. Lifting your hands, he silently observed the various pieces of your lightsaber slowly hover in the air in front of you. Ben could feel the Force flowing through you as you began to fully let go, allowing it to take complete control. </em> </strong>
</p><p>
  <strong> <em>Your expression was one of intense focus, and Ben couldn’t take his eyes off of you. Your brow was furrowed and you were biting your bottom lip, determined to succeed. A sense of pride stirred inside Ben as your lightsaber began to take shape. Your kyber crystal nestled into the cradle perfectly, the power core slid into the grip of the hilt, and the activator switch snapped into place, completing the saber. </em> </strong>
</p><p>
  <strong> <em>When you finished, you opened your eyes and slowly guided your lightsaber to the ground between you and Ben. Picking up the assembled lightsaber, a wide grin spread across your face and you turned the saber over in your shaking hands, staring at it with wide eyes, astonished with your creation. You couldn’t believe you actually did it, and you were holding your very own lightsaber. </em> </strong>
</p><p>
  <strong> <em>Your eyes flitted to Ben’s and you couldn’t stop the tears that started to well up, these ones were tears of joy and relief in that you finally completed your saber. </em> </strong>
</p><p>
  <strong> <em>A breathy laugh left your lips in disbelief, “I did it.”</em> </strong>
</p><p>
  <strong> <em>Ben continued smiling at you with his wide, dimpled grin, sensing the pure joy and excitement flowing from you. “I never had any doubts,” he said. “Now, are you going to keep staring at it, or are you going to activate it and see if it works?”</em> </strong>
</p><p>
  <strong> <em>Hesitantly, you took the curved hilt of your saber in one hand. Your thumb easily found the activator switch, and with a swift flick, the plasma blade shot up, illuminating the hut in a deep orange glow. Waving the lightsaber in front of you a few times, you began to get a feel for the blade, understanding its weight, and becoming one with it. </em> </strong>
</p><p>
  <strong> <em>Ben saw how the orange glow highlighted the features of your face. ‘So Beautiful’, he thought to himself. He was so happy for you and your accomplishment. This was a big step in your training. </em> </strong>
</p><p>
  <strong> <em>Overwhelmed with joy, you deactivated your saber and leapt up, lunging at Ben. Not expecting you to suddenly jump on him, he fell back slightly as he caught you, wrapping an arm around your waist. You pulled him into your embrace and your arms looped around his neck as you placed a chaste kiss on his cheek. </em> </strong>
</p><p>
  <strong> <em>“Thank you, Ben. What would I ever do without you?” you said squeezing him. He reciprocated, pulling you in closer, and wrapping his other arm around you, holding onto you tight. </em> </strong>
</p><p>
  <strong> <em>“Let’s hope we never have to find out,” he said as he placed a gentle kiss on the side of your temple. Ben shoved all thoughts about you not being with him, out of his mind. You were his, and he never wanted to think about a life without you in it. </em> </strong>
</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>Standing from the bed, Kylo deactivated your lightsaber and set it on the nightstand along with his own, your weapon appeared considerably smaller in comparison.</p><p>Wanting to shake the thoughts of you from his mind, Kylo started to shed his many layers of clothing and armor so he could get himself cleaned up. The mission he had returned from left him covered in a mixture of blood, sweat, and ash.</p><p>Walking into the refresher, he padded across the black tiled floor to the sanisteam and set the temperature to his preferred settings. Like the rest of his quarters, the refresher was sizable. The large tiled sanisteam sat in the far corner, with double shower heads. A large tub sat in the middle of the room, easily big enough for two people to bathe comfortably, and there was a counter with double sinks, and next to it, the toilet.</p><p>Kylo stepped inside the sanisteam and stood under the stream, allowing the warm water to flow over his back, washing away the remnants of the day’s battles. As hard as he tried to focus and clear his mind, it kept gravitating back to you. The conflicting emotions swirled around him as he thought more about the past.</p><p>Kylo rested his forehead against the cool tile wall, the water continued to cascade down his scarred back, and he let his mind drift. Even after all this time, Kylo found himself still upset with you, of your refusal to leave with him, but he was also upset with himself, for not trying harder to keep you with him. Instead, he had turned his back on you, and allowed the dark side to take its hold on him. Everything would have been different if you had just said yes.</p><p>Frustrated that he was allowing himself to dwell on a past that he could never go back and change, Kylo quickly finished washing himself, and exited the shower. With a towel wrapped low around his waist, and another used to shake out his dripping ebony locks, Kylo returned to his bedroom. Changing into a pair of black sleep pants, he settled into bed, knowing he would not be getting any sleep tonight, his dreams would likely only be of you.</p><p>Although the two of you were very close once before, Kylo found that he didn’t really know who you are now, who you’ve become since evading the massacre. That was one thing that would need to change if he was going to convince the council that he is right in his decision to keep you alive.</p><p>Sitting with his back against the headboard, Kylo took out his datapad and started reviewing your file, seeing what the First Order analysts had already gathered about you and your life. As he read through the different reports, Kylo had to admit, he was quite impressed with you. It seemed as though you had fallen back into old habits and became a smuggler. If the reports were accurate, you were a good one too. Apparently, your ship is suspected in connection with several warrants for arrests for the theft and transport of stolen First Order supplies.</p><p>General Hux appeared less than impressed in his report of your detainment, making sure to note that you had broken his wrist in an attempt to escape. An amused smile spread across his lips, knowing you were never one to give up easily, and Hux likely deserved his injury. What did not amuse Kylo was that the details of your freshly cut lip and bruised cheek was missing. The information on who was responsible for your injuries was left out of the report. He didn’t particularly like the thought of anyone harming you, and he would need to find out who struck you.</p><p>When Kylo finished looking through the rest of the files, he decided to pull up the live holofeed of your cell. He stared at your trembling figure, curled up on your side on the bed. There was a small tug at his heart when he saw the tears still streaming down your face as your body shook with sobs. Kylo sighed as he took out his comlink from the bedside drawer and transmitted an order to his ‘troopers in the prison sector. Since he couldn’t physically comfort you right now, he wanted to at least provide you a small relief until he knew what he was going to do with you.</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>After picking yourself up off the ground, you stumbled over to the bed, your feet were sore and your knees were bruised from falling on the grated floor. Laying on your side, you curled up into yourself, allowing the tears to flow freely as you started shivering. Despite being provided a decent amount of clothing, you felt cold, and it was difficult to discern if it was due to the stale air on the ship, or from something deeper inside you.</p><p>Nothing could have prepared you for when Kylo Ren walked into your cell. After learning of his true identity not long ago, you had felt nothing but hate for the man. The hollow space that he left deep in your core had made itself known again. Your mind couldn’t process that Ben Solo was still alive, or why he had let himself become this wicked being known as Kylo Ren.</p><p>All you really knew was that you hated him. At least, you wanted to believe that you did, because how could you not hate him? How could you ever look past everything he’s done? Murdering the Jedi, taking innocent lives, and destroying entire star systems. He was responsible for all of it. So, why was there a part of you that was still holding onto hope that he wasn’t completely lost?</p><p>Sobs rocked your body unexpectedly as you thought more about Ben Solo, no, about Kylo Ren. He made it perfectly clear that Ben Solo was dead, and the man you once knew was gone. Your head was still throbbing from his intrusion on your mind. You knew it wouldn’t have been as painful had you not tried to resist him, but you had to protect your crew and hide your involvement with the Resistance.</p><p>There was no telling what Kylo Ren would do should the First Order find out that you were working with their enemy. What frightened you more was that you were not entirely sure what your future even looked like at the moment without that information being known. By the way he ripped your memories from your head and left you in a heap of pain on the floor, you were surprised he was even planning to keep you alive.</p><p>While the memories Kylo pulled to the front of your mind continued to replay over and over, you struggled to control your breathing, and tears continued to flow down your cheeks as small puddles started to form on the surface of your bed. Being forced to re-live the worst night of your entire life, the night you lost everything, was something you never wished to experience. With the destruction of the Jedi Temple, you lost the only real home you ever had, lost the family you grew to love, and you lost Ben Solo, the only person who had ever shown you what it meant to feel wanted.</p><p>Deep inside, your heart could not make sense of how Ben Solo, the man you once loved and adored, could have turned out to be the most feared creature in the galaxy. You had always known that there was a part of him that he kept hidden from everyone, even you. However, you never imagined him being capable of causing all of the destruction and pain that he has spread across the galaxy over the years.  </p><p>Taking deep breaths and trying to calm yourself, you wanted to desperately to find sleep, and escape from this reality. Unfortunately, sleep wouldn’t come as your cluttered mind continued to spin. You couldn’t keep yourself from wondering about how different your life would have turned out had you accepted his offer, and ran away with him all those years ago. There was a part of you that wanted to blame yourself, wondering if you were the reason he had turned to the dark side and joined Snoke.</p><p>You knew there was no sense in concerning yourself on what might have been. You would never know, because you could never go back and tell Ben Solo how much you loved him, or how sorry you were for refusing his offer to run away with him. After he severed his connection with you that night, you learned too late that home was never going to be a place, but it was with him. Ben Solo had been your true home all along, but you were too blinded by your past to see it.</p><p>Before you were brought to the Jedi Temple to train, you lived in the lower levels on Coruscant. When you were a child, maybe around eight years old, your parents gave you to a crime boss on Coruscant. His name was Val Corren, the Vigos, or underboss for the organization called Crimson Dawn. From what you were told, your parents had a debt to pay, and since they had no credits to their names, they handed you over to the man as payment.</p><p>Your life since then had been anything but pleasant. When you eventually learned that you couldn’t escape from him, Corren used your child innocence to traffic illegal spice throughout the Lower Levels. In return he kept you fed and provided you with a safe place to sleep, which was the backroom of the cantina he owned. It wasn’t much, but it was better than sleeping in the streets with the spiceheads and bottom dwellers who would be lurking to take advantage of you.</p><p>You adapted quickly to your new life after learning that your parents were not coming back for you, that they didn’t care about you, or want you anymore. Val Corren continued to keep you safe as you helped with his business. The New Republic authorities that patrolled the Lower Levels never suspected a child of running spice.</p><p>For seven years, you kept your head down, obeying any orders you were given, ensuring you would always see your next meal, and able to keep the semi-warm bed you were given. Corren constantly reminded you that he was not your family and that he could easily take away the luxuries he had provided you with. </p><p>When your abilities in the Force started to develop, you kept them a secret, knowing it was dangerous for people like you in the Lower Levels. This kept you rather isolated, afraid that getting close to anyone would risk them discovering your secret. Force-Users were not welcome in the Lower Levels, thanks to the Jedi, who were unable to protect those who live there from the gangs and crime syndicates that continue to plague them.</p><p>The Jedi were believed to be extinct, completely wiped out after The Clone Wars many years ago. There had always been rumors about how the Jedi had returned, but you always thought they were just that, rumors. That was until Luke Skywalker, Jedi Master, found you after you had been arrested by New Republic authorities at the age of fifteen. When they tried to detain you, you fought back and ended up revealing that you were Force sensitive.</p><p>When he offered to train you and help improve your skills, you were hesitant. He explained that he had been searching for those like him, who had a connection with the Force, and he wanted to help you control it. You were given a choice to leave and become a Jedi, or stay on Coruscant and face criminal charges and prison time. The best option was obvious, and you left your life on Coruscant behind with a heart full of hope that what was ahead of you would be better. </p><p>Luke took you back with him to his training temple on an unknown planet, sensing that you had the potential to become a Jedi Knight. When Master Skywalker had introduced you to his nephew who was only a few years older than you, there was almost an instant connection with him, a bond formed through the Force, and it was the first time in your life you had felt safe.</p><p>After keeping to yourself for so many years in the slums of the Lower Levels, feeling isolated and alone, you eventually opened up to your fellow students, and grew closer to Ben Solo as time went on. The Temple quickly became a place you called home, something you had desperately longed for since your parents abandoned you.</p><p>When your entire life had gone up in literal flames, after you thought you’d lost the love of your life forever, you believed that you would never find your true home again.</p><p>Eventually your sobbing settled and the tears started to slow as you laid trembling on your side. An hour may have passed until you heard the sounds of footsteps in the corridor, and they didn’t stop until they reached your cell. Lifting your head up to peer out the barrier, you didn’t move from your spot as two stormtroopers entered the room.</p><p>“Sit up, prisoner,” one of the ‘troopers commanded as he approached you.</p><p>With no energy left in you to challenge them, you did as you were told and slowly swung your legs off the edge of the bed to move into a sitting position. You wiped away the last of your tears as you stared at the men in white armor. Blinking a few times in disbelief, you watched as the stormtrooper sat a blanket and a pair of black boots on the bed beside you.</p><p>“Hands,” he said, gesturing to where your hands were sitting in your lap as you picked at the side of your fingernails.</p><p>You raised your hands as you were instructed and the ‘trooper removed your cuffs, then stepped away. Your hands dropped back into your lap as you sat frozen, too confused as to what was happening. The stormtrooper turned his back to you and you watched as he took the tray from the other ‘trooper that you didn’t notice they had been holding.</p><p>Stepping back over to you, he pushed the tray into your hands, and you stared in awe at the delicious looking food. Your stomach growled as you caught a whiff of your meal, and you realized that you couldn’t recall the last time you had eaten anything.</p><p>“When you’re finished, leave the tray by the door,” was all the stormtrooper said as he and the other ‘trooper started to exit your cell. Your eyes flitted between the food, the boots, and the ‘troopers as you processed the fact that they just gave you a decent meal, warmth, and relief for your poor aching feet.</p><p>“Wait,” you said quickly. “Why—why did you…?” You gestured to the boots next to you and the tray that now sat on your lap.</p><p>“Orders,” one of the stormtroopers said simply.</p><p>“From the Supreme Leader,” stated the other. With that, they were gone, the cell’s barrier reactivated, leaving you yet again in a state of bewilderment.</p><p>You stared dumbfounded at the protein and cooked vegetables on your tray. This could not have been a meal they would normally serve prisoners, and you questioned why he would have given these orders. When he stormed out of your cell, Kylo Ren did not seem to care about you or your comfort and well-being.</p><p>As you sat on the edge of your bed, you set the tray aside to put on your new boots. They looked similar to those you saw First Order Officers wearing. To your surprise, there was also a pair of black socks folded inside them. Putting the socks and boots on, you tucked the legs of your grey pants into the boots and laced them up. They fit perfectly, and you strangely felt a little less vulnerable now that your feet were covered.</p><p>Pulling the blanket around your shoulders to get warm, you slid back and rested your back against the wall and started to pick at the food that was given to you. You alternated between eating and rubbing your wrists where the cuffs started to dig into your skin. The First Order of course did not trust you with utensils, but you were too hungry and happy to have the cuffs off to care.</p><p>While you ate your meal, you wondered why you were afforded such comforts. It didn’t make sense why the Supreme Leader would go from ripping your mind apart and nearly choking you to death, to making you more comfortable. If he was trying to stir the conflict inside you even more, it was working.</p><p>A memory floated to the front of your mind of a time when Ben had taken care of you when you were sick. He made sure you ate and were comfortable until you got better. That was one way of showing he cared for you. You couldn’t help but wonder if the boots and hot meal was his way of showing he still cares for you.  </p><p>After finishing off everything on your tray, you placed it by the door like you were told, grateful for the boots protecting your feet from the vicious floor. Laying back down after quickly relieving yourself, you stared up at the ceiling and let your mind drift as a sense of warmth started to overcome you.</p><p>Now that you were calmed down from your fit of sobs, and the throbbing from Kylo’s intrusion on your mind had ceased, your mind finally settled. Slowly nodding off, you let sleep take its hold on your exhausted mind and body, as you pushed away your worry about what tomorrow would bring.</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>Several pairs of footsteps were heard making their way straight to your cell, pulling you from your sleep. When you opened your eyes, you saw four stormtroopers along with General Hux standing outside of your cell. The barrier dropped and before you had a chance to sit up, the ‘troopers rushed you, hauling you up onto your feet, and binding your wrists in front of you again.  </p><p>“W-What’s going on?” You asked, a rasp to your voice from your sleep.</p><p>The only response you received was a vile smirk from General Hux as he turned to leave and the stormtroopers were dragging you out of your cell to follow him out into the corridor.</p><p>Kicking your feet and thrashing around in their grasp, you screamed, “Stop! Where are you taking me?” Still ignoring your questions, one of the stormtroopers hit you in the side with the end of their blaster. You cried out in pain, now struggling to walk, and instantly knew that the hit had definitely bruised a few of your ribs.</p><p>A red haze of anger dropped over your vision when you recognized the trooper’s voice as he spoke, “Quiet, Resistance scum!” It was CT-4115. You were really starting to hate the bastard, not understanding why he’s been so rough with you since you met.</p><p>When the pain subsided somewhat, your mind finally processed what he just called you. <em>Resistance Scum. </em>But how did they find out? There was no way to trace you to the Resistance, you covered all of your tracks. Didn’t you?</p><p>You didn’t have much more time to think about it as you were taken into an interrogation room and quickly restrained to a frightening table like chair that was definitely meant for torturing people. Once you were secured at your wrists, ankles, and a bar across your chest, the stormtroopers took their leave, leaving you alone with General Hux. He sneered at you, as if you were the most disgusting being he had ever seen.</p><p>“Where’s the Supreme Leader?” You spat.</p><p>“Don’t worry, he’ll be along soon enough.” He said with a cruel smile. “It appears you’ve become more useful to us alive.” The General chuckled as he walked out of sight behind you.</p><p>You heard a few switches and beeps, and as Hux came back into view, you felt the device you were restrained to, power on. “I thought we would get started before he arrives,” Hux said. As he spoke, a long thin mechanical arm extended from the table to your left, an electrical current could be seen pulsing from the end of it causing your stomach to tighten.</p><p>A shiver ran down your back and you swallowed hard, afraid that even your past connection with Kylo Ren would not save you from what was about to happen.</p>
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